I'm the Master of Catching Colds – and I Can Share with You How to Avoid One

Around this period the previous year, I was participating in a broadcast alongside three vocalists. Present were a rapper of Ghanaian heritage, a well-known pop singer, and an acclaimed classical singer. We were in the heart of winter. The previous evening, I attended a longtime friend's 60th birthday, packed into a local bar's party area in the Surrey region. It had been a good night, yet now, to break the silence, I pondered ways to dodge the common cold with many partygoers were players in a symphony of coughs, sneezes, snuffles and nose-blows. By the way, how come some people have nose-blows like trumpets, and some do not? Something to explore later.

The Reaction by the Three Performers

Upon referencing the party, these three musicians in the TV green room took two actions. First, they edged away from me. Second, they engaged in a feverishly enthusiastic discussion on how to avoid catching colds which expected because of their careers was a major concern for them. I get that, but I'm also deeply invested – I must avoid colds at all costs since my colds are more severe than others'. I don’t have a medical certificate to confirm this, but I firmly believe it. My colds last longer. My nasal passages are more congested, my throat is scratchier, my coughs are harsher, more persistent and seem infinite. Those at home, familiar with the early throat signs which herald the coming storm, either kick me out of the room or leave themselves. During my time hosting football on TV, the unfortunate crew in the control room learned to recognize the signals. “Earpieces out!” the studio director would holler to his team to avoid auditory overload, damaging their headset equipment.

Dealing With Blocked Noses

When it comes to congestion, don’t start me. Sprays, drops, even the sharp aroma of warm spirits my mum prescribes … they provide temporary relief before giving up. It's hard to find something more pathetic than a Brummie tone spoken without the benefit of air passing through the nostrils. I mean, it can sound nasal even normally. On the plus side, it draws pity, which isn’t always a good thing. When I started college, away from my mum and her medicinal brandy, the janitor in our dorm took pity on me. “I know exactly what you need, you dear. I'll return shortly.” She was wonderfully sweet, very Irish, and demanded I eat the peeled, raw onion she offered me in bed. She stood and watched me do so. Bless her. It didn't help at all, sadly, apart from sending my guts into raptures and leaving my breath foul.

The Vocalist’s Cold Avoidance Regime

Thus, I loathe winter illnesses and am quite sure that prevention is better than the cures which traditional or modern, fail to help. I listened intently along with the rapper and the pop star when the mezzo-soprano walked us through her cold avoidance regime. Due to upcoming holiday performances, she approached it with great diligence. She commanded us to apply hand sanitiser on the hour, every hour throughout the winter from what I gathered plus, there were special precautions required when it came to parties and what not. Prior to socializing, she suggested a few applications of Vicks First Defence up each nostril – even if healthy. Drastic. I appreciated it. And, listen to this, she required a repeat application after the party with another couple of squirts of the same stuff.

What Happened Next

I followed suit. And I must admit I didn't sniffle all winter. There were drawbacks: the numerous products I purchased, misplaced, bought again, located, and so on. And that dispiriting moment you realise you’ve sat on the little vessel of hand gel kept in your jeans and it's leaking all over. Still, an acceptable trade-off. With winter returning, I’m re-armed to the teeth with the mezzo-soprano’s recommended ordnance. I'm set for the fight.

Amy Anderson
Amy Anderson

Maya Chen is a blockchain researcher and financial analyst with over 8 years of experience in cryptocurrency markets and decentralized technologies.

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